Last post from Hawaii

Sunset at Waikiki Beach

I know there will be little time once we get home to do any blogging, since both of us have to jump right back into work and home obligations (and hug and kiss the kids tons - we really miss them!). We have done our best to relax as much as possible while here and take advantage of being in HAWAII (I feel like I have to shout it every time I say it, lest I forget how amazing it is that we're even here at all). Dan even managed to become close to the shade of a lobster today thanks to the fact that we went to three different swim/snorkel sites and forgot to reapply the sunscreen after the first one. I have some red spots as well, and no, we don't expect any sympathy at all.

Since my last post, we:

Inside the crater at Diamond Head

1) Hiked Diamond Head, a crater caused by a volcano, where there was a little excitement involving an elderly man who nearly passed out

The view from the top of Diamond Head

2) Visited Pearl Harbor, which involves seeing a 20 minute video summarizing what led up to the attack and the making of the USS Arizona memorial, taking a boat to tour the Arizona memorial, touring the USS Bowfin submarine, and, when it's not in dry dock (like now - we couldn't see it), touring the USS Missouri

The USS Arizona memorial, which goes across where the ship sunk

3) Ate dim sum in Chinatown
4) Body surfed at Sandy Beach (only Dan)
5) Attempted to surf (again, only Dan - I just got on the surfboard for a picture)
6) Swam and snorkeled at the "From Here to Eternity" beach

Dan at the beach in the famous scene in From Here to Eternity. We didn't attempt to recreate the scene.

7) Snorkeled at Hanauma Bay, pretty much the best place for even amateurs to snorkel

Me, on the walk down to Hanauma Bay. We snorkeled right where those people are!

8) Attended a luau, where we ate pulled pork (very good), taro (OK), and poi (not a favorite), and hung out with friends we hadn't seen in over 8 years!

A plumeria, the state flower and what is used in most leis.

Enjoy the photos, and hopefully some of the tropical and sunny atmosphere from them will travel to wherever you are.

Having a great time, wish you were here

I tried to email some pictures from our trip to a few people, but I don't have a way to make the files smaller and the messages weren't going through, so I decided to just post them instead.

The view from our hotel room balcony.

Just to get it out of the way: Yes, it's beautiful here. Yes, we're having an awesome time. No, we're not ready to come home yet. And No, we don't want to move here. We are sticking to Oahu only, although we did look into visiting the Big Island (Hawaii) to see the active volcanoes (would have cost $200/person at least and taken a full day, leaving around 3:30am!). Instead, we rented a car for a day and drove around most of Oahu.

For Reece, who loves Lilo and Stitch.

Things that have surprised us:
Except for the mountains (and a few other differences), it looks and smells a lot like Florida.
Even the newscasters wear Hawaiian shirts - on air.
There are tons of Japanese tourists here, and everything is written in English and Japanese. When I used the ATM, it asked if I wanted English or Japanese, instead of the English or Spanish choices I get at home.
Everyone uses "Aloha" as the greeting and "Mahalo" as Thank You. And everyone is very friendly and helpful, and seem genuinely so.
The sun sets at 6:30pm.
How hot or humid it is depends on whether or not the trade winds are blowing. We LOVE the trade winds.

View of Diamond Head from Waikiki Beach in front of our hotel.

We arrived Friday at 8:30 Hawaii time (so 2:30am our time) after flying through Memphis and LA and were completely exhausted. We fell asleep about 10:30, woke up about 6:00, and have kept that schedule ever since. The first day we checked out the beach and the grocery store, the second day we hit the Swap Meet (a flea market at the University of Hawaii stadium that runs 4 days a week year-round) and did the Oahu drive, which included visiting Waimea Valley and Waimea Falls, and the third day we took a sailing/snorkeling tour (pictures to follow) and swam in the hotel pool. Next up is a visit to Pearl Harbor, a trek up Diamond Head, and some shopping, plus whatever else we can fit in between my conference obligations. Dan will probably rent a surf board and try to surf while I'm busy standing at my poster and making work connections. We're also trying to soak up as much Hawaiian culture and feel (and vitamin D) as we can so we can remember it in the middle of February in Ohio. If we figure out a way to bottle any of it to bring back, we most definitely will.

Dan (very tiny!) in the Waimea Falls

Signs of fall and advice for grandparents/parents/in-laws

We all know the usual signs of fall - leaves turning, temperatures dropping, pumpkins EVERYWHERE. But at Philtur Central, there are a few additional signs. One is the kids suddenly sleeping in much later. I don't know if it's the fact that it's darker longer in the morning or it's colder and they have more incentive to stay in bed, but I've had to wake them up at 8:00 many morning recently, whereas they were leaping out at 7 or earlier this summer. We did finally turn on the furnace, but that wasn't until one morning about 4am when Reece came into our room, crawled over Dan and snuggled between us in the bed. When one of us (Dan) woke up enough to process the fact that a small, very cute intruder was next to us, he told Reece that he'd have to go back to his own bed. Reece's response was, "But it's so much warmer here!"

Another sign is the kids complaining that it's "too cold" to play outside. For children who remember every Halloween costume they've ever worn, they seem to completely lack any memory of Cleveland winters. And speaking of costumes, the third sign of fall at our house is Reece asking EVERY DAY whether it's Halloween yet and can he try on his costume again and how much and what type of candy he will get when he goes trick-or-treating. I've been afraid he'll have nothing to talk about after October 31st, but now he's also getting excited about relatives (especially his cousin, Gracie) coming for Thanksgiving. After that I'm sure it will be non-stop Christmas talk, and then his birthday. After that, who knows. He might just be too cold to talk.

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I've been thinking recently about how much I've already forgotten about being the parent of a newborn or infant and ways that people could have helped me then, which also got me thinking about what is pertinent to my life now that I'd like to remember in the future. In particular, I've been talking to other parents of kids my kids' ages about interactions with their parents and their in-laws. And I realized that I'd like to get something in writing that maybe I can refer to when I'm an in-law and/or grandparent (they don't always go together, you know). So I polled friends and relatives and got many similar responses. I also discovered a very similar article on babycenter.com, so I must have been catching cosmic thoughts somehow!

Here are the highlights of my poll and what was said in the article. Disclaimer: None of these items is directed in any way at anyone related to me or any of my family and friends, and any resemblence to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. If you recognize yourself in any of these items, you're just being paranoid.

1. When you come to visit, or when we visit you, what we really want is for you to spend time with the kids. If you're coming to use our home as a vacation/shopping base, we can recommend some lovely hotels in the area. And while planning some activities while we're together is fine, we have no interest in scheduling the entire visit.
2. Related to #1, when we're together, we appreciate you jumping in to help when you see something that needs to be done involving the children. We are often taking precious vacation time for these get-togethers, and we need a break, too. When we're visiting your house, especially if we have small children, please put away breakable things and consider the needs of the children first when making plans. An hour wait at a restaurant is expressly out, especially since kids never sleep as well away from home and therefore we're cranky, too.
3. HOWEVER, it's probably a good idea to ask first if we want that done. We know our house is not spotless, and even though you think you're helping by scrubbing out the fridge or dusting all the baseboards, it just makes us feel inadequate and annoyed, and we couldn't care less if any of that ever gets done anyway. Unless, of course, we ask you to do it. Then scrub away!
4. Talk to us when something is bothering you. We can tell when you're holding back, and your silence feels like judgement. The only topic that should be avoided is our parenting skills/decisions, unless you truly feel the child is being endangered (and feeding them broccoli does not qualify).
5. Consider what you're talking about when the children are around, and especially monitor the swearing. We know you're out of practice, but even if the kids are in the next room and not obviously listening, they are and will ask difficult questions later or say a word at daycare the following week that requires a parent conference.
6. While we appreciate your experience and knowledge, we don't want unsolicited advice. As with any generation, things have changed since we were being raised, and with the internet it is much easier and quicker to get accurate and up-to-date information. Laws and guidelines have changed, and we're doing what our doctors/the results of scientific studies tell us. We also are a generation that believes there often is no one "right" answer and that each parent must make their own decision based on their own information and beliefs.

In return, we will try our best to do the following:
1. We will bring activities for the children and not expect you to provide all the entertainment when we're visiting.
2. We won't assume that you'll act as babysitters for the duration of our time together.
3. We will let you know when something is bothering us and will ask for your help when we need it.
4. If you want to be kept busy during your visit and let us know this, we will do our best to come up with some activities that will work for both of us.

I'm sure there is more that could be added to both sections, and I welcome any input! I also found out there's a section on grandparents.com called Mothers-in-Law Anonymous where the grandparents can vent their side of the relationship, so check it out if you're interested.