I'm leaving babyhood behind, too

I recently realized that it won't be too long before I no longer have a need for anything involving the word "preschool". I know Reece still has another year before kindergarten, but I also know how amazingly fast time goes these days. Because the boys are 4 3/4 years apart in age, we have had someone under the age of 5 in the house for over 9 years now, so for nearly a decade my main identity has been "mom of at least one small child". As much as I'm enjoying the freedom involved with having older children, I find I'm mourning the loss of that time and identity. I've taken to watching videos from when Greyson was 1 1/2-3 years old, because that was a time when I felt particularly close to him and he was still a "baby". Dan was deployed twice during that time, and Greyson's and my world was relatively small and simple then (at least compared to now). Our friends had kids Greyson's age or younger, or no kids at all, so he didn't get the older child influence that Reece gets from his cousins and brother. We didn't live close to many friends or any family, or even to many activities, so we spent a lot of time with each other. Or at least that's how it appears in the videos and my memories. Now, we very rarely do things just as a nuclear family, and I wonder if Reece is missing out on something because of that or if he's got some advantage because he gets to be out in the world and with others so much more than Greyson did at his age. I'm just hoping that so long as the family is happy, the details don't matter. Maybe that's why our earliest memories don't start until around the age of 4!

House renovations, stage 0

I've decided it's time to begin chronicalling the impending home improvements here at Phillips-Turner central. If nothing else, I hope this forces me to take pictures along the way, rather than just when it's done or not at all (my usual M.O.). For anyone who doesn't know, we began with grandiose ideas of renovating the kitchen/breakfast nook, the master bath/closet area, the mudporch and garage, and adding on a bedroom over the mudporch. Then we found out how much that would all cost and, combined with the drop in home values and assessing what NEEDED to get done versus what we WANTED, we edited that down to the mudporch, garage, and new room. I'd much rather have started with the kitchen, but our small and now VERY leaky garage made the kitchen a want and the garage a need pretty quickly.

So where are we now, you ask? (If you're still awake.) We found an architect/contractor we like, have finalized the drawings & plans, gotten a solid budget estimate, applied for a cash-0ut refinance through the VA plan (which allows for 100% cash-out, just FYI for any veterans), had the pest inspection done, and the appraiser came by this morning. Estimated start date on tearing up the back yard is mid-June. As you look at the following "before" pictures, please pay special attention to the quantity of kids' toys & bikes on our lawn, thanks to the aforementioned small and leaky garage. They might as well be accessible while being rained on is my feeling.

Basically, the plan is to extend the mudporch (by tearing it down and rebuilding it onto the existing foundation) to about where the width of the sidewalk ends and then attach the new garage to the new mudporch. The back entrance to the house will then be facing the sidewalk. Where the garage is now will be grass that will extend the entire width of the property.

The blue tarp is really just keeping the rain inside the garage to a steady drip rather than a deluge.

Inside the mudporch.

The french doors are going to be removed and that area will be filled in with wall. On the other side is the living room, and my plan is to use the well area from the french doors to do a built-in cabinet that could house a TV or books or whatever. I hope to post the drawings in the near future, and then it might be easier to understand the whole plan.

Mom's Day activities

I had the best Mother's Day weekend ever! I got to spend it with my kids AND my mom. It started on Friday, when Reece's class held a Mother's Day tea for all the moms (and grandmas). Reece met my mom and me at the door with a huge hug, then escorted us to our seats. We had real china-type settings and cloth napkins, the kids sang, and we got homemade popsicle stick picture frames with a picture of us with our child/grandchild, red carnations, and homemade bracelets (which I wore to work, proudly). Greyson gave me three coupons: one for breakfast in bed, one for a free dinner that he'll make for me, and one for a massage. I was awakened on Sunday morning by Greyson (with Dan's help) bringing in scrambled eggs, toast with jam, and coffee on a tray. Thanks in large part to my mom and Dan, nothing was under or over cooked. :) Then, after we did our usual Sunday School routine, I took my mom to the Indians/Tigers game. The weather was lovely, although I underestimated the power of the sun and now have a very red nose, and the game had enough exciting moments that we didn't doze off or anything. Although I would have liked it if the Indians won, it made my mom happy that the Tigers did, so my gift to her was complete.

We did have one incident Sunday morning that led me to have thoughts of chucking it all for life without children, when both kids whined and complained and talked over each other trying to convince me that I was torturing them by making them go to Sunday School. I even told them during the 3 minute car ride to church that I did not want to hear ONE PEEP out of either or I would take away Wii for a MONTH. Then, when we were in the classroom (I teach in Reece's room), Reece said to me, "Can we all say nice and loving things to each other on the way home so we can have a happy ride, since we love each other?" And I could feel the anger and frustration actually melt away, which has never happened so instantly before. THAT, my friends, is what it means to me to be a mother. Becoming a better person through interactions with these bizarre and amazing creatures who, right now, depend on me for so much.

Family time

We had an awesome four days while Nick and his girlfriend, Daniella, visited last week. Lots of eating and talking, some drinking and playing games, and a break from real life. I was shocked when Saturday evening arrived and I realized they'd be leaving the next day. Sunday it was hard to come back to reality! I think the boys, in particular, are going through withdrawal. Both Nick and Daniella spent lots of quality time with all four boys, which is a sure-fire way to their hearts. Apparently at one point they were all playing in Greyson and Reece's room and some of them got buried under blankets. Tonight, the remnants of that were still around (and will be until my grant is finished, probably!) and when Reece saw a lump under one of the blankets, he said "I'm going to tackle Daniella" and proceeded to jump on top of it. I could tell he knew deep down that she wasn't under there, but he lifted the blanket off the stuffed animal it was covering just on the off-chance that some miracle had occurred.

We had so much fun that I only have two pictures from the entire visit, and these were taken right before they left:

Greyson's birthday party

We took Greyson and some of his friends bowling last Saturday for his birthday (and no, we're not confused, his actual birthday isn't until this Sunday but it just worked out better this way). However, you won't be seeing any photos of the bowling because although I remembered the camera, I forgot to put the memory card back into it after my last photo download. Instead, here are photos from after we came back for cake and present opening:














The kids seemed to really enjoy themselves, and they got in two full games in 2 hours. I had them pick cards that assigned them into two teams based on Harry Potter, Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw, and then did it again for the second game so the teams got rearranged. Their take-home treat was a trophy that said what they had "won", like highest score, best average of the two games, most splits, etc. I'm actually not fond of the whole give-guests-a-gift thing, so this was my way to phase it out a bit and have it actually apply to what we did.

Each time we have a party that involves more than just family, I learn a few things. This one was no exception. First, don't invite kids if you don't already know their parents. When Greyson turned 6 we invited some of his classmates, and one parent called that morning to ask if the child's younger brother could come, too, since he was sad that his brother got to go and he didn't. This year, one of the two girls he invited told him at school that she got grounded and couldn't come, but the mom never called/emailed to let me know. When I called her to verify (stories usually come home with mostly incorrect information at this age and I wanted to be sure, plus there was some story about her providing a ride to the other girl who now couldn't come without a ride, but that turned out to be false), she sounded miffed that I had done so. Second, riding in a car with 5 9-10 year olds is painful. I switched vehicles with Dan for the drive home on the pretext that Reece needed me, and he made the same comments I'd been thinking in my head after we returned home. And third, have parties somewhere else so you don't have to clean before and after!

Stuck between babyhood and childhood

Reece is going through a stage right now where he wants to be babied (carried, cuddled, spoken to like a baby and to make baby sounds). He's also been weighing himself on our home scale, so I can say, "You weigh 31 pounds (or thirty-ten, as he says, because the scale says 31.0) and that's too much for me to pick up right now!" But I've been trying to give in when I can, because I actually remember realizing around his age that I would probably never be picked up and carried again. However, I do have my limits, and apparently Dan does as well. Last night, Dan was helping him get ready for bed and here's what happened:

Reece: I want to watch Greyson playing computer.
Dan: No, I gave you your 5-minute warning and now it's time to go potty.
Reece starts crying. Dan carries him into the bathroom and says to him calmly: Go potty and then we'll read a book.
Reece (still crying): No, Daddy, you go potty for me.
Dan: I can't do that.
Reece: Well, you hold my penis and aim and do everything for me.
Dan still refuses and there is much wailing, so I come up from the basement.
Me: Dear, do you need help?
Dan: YES!
So I go in to the bathroom, and Reece (while still crying), starts the process but tries to convince me to aim for him and flush and wash his hands. I give in on the handwashing, but not for the rest. By the time we're drying hands, he's completely calm and ready to cuddle with Daddy and read. I think he fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

Terrorism in the name of religion

Oh, the humanity...
Our neighbor gets a huge chocolate bunny every year for Easter, and when we visited yesterday so the kids could hide plastic eggs for each other, she said she'd give us some of this year's version to take home. I thought it would be an ear, and she came out with this in a ziploc and brown paper bag. The kids were so excited, they ripped the paper bag, so I had to walk halfway down our street carrying a chocolate rabbit head. It did seem like a fitting end to the secular portion of the holiday.

Marketing gone too far

Is it just me, or does it look like Lightning McQueen is sporting an afro here?:
These shoes are actually part of a recall because the little wheels can come off and become a choking hazard. Anyone who knows Reece will understand why I checked this out as soon as I saw it listed. However, we do not own this particular shoe type, and after seeing the picture, I know why. Even I have limits as to what lengths I will go for my children's happiness.

Bathroom topics

Ever since we had boys and they started potty training, Dan has been unofficially in charge of teaching the intricacies of "standing up to pee". He was well taught by his father to do things like clean up after oneself (ie mop up the dribbles) and put the seat back down (I cannot thank my father-in-law enough for that one). So last night, Reece was getting into position and Dan reminded him to aim. Apparently, Reece is nearly fully recovered from his illness, because his response was to give Dan a smirk and then purposely put his hands behind his back. Dan reiterated the command as Reece continued to do as he pleased, and then once he was done, he actually did a little dance and sang, "I don't have to listen to Daddy...I don't have to aim". I, of course, had a hard time not laughing, and Dan had a hard time keeping the steam from coming out of his ears.

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I am all for saving energy, but I think my place of work has taken things too far. The lights in the women's bathroom are now on a motion sensor. However, apparently they are not sensitive enough to detect small movements, and they are also set to very short time intervals. The result of which is that if only one person is in the bathroom and not moving much for about 15 seconds, the lights turn off! Then said person must waive her arms or make some other silly movement to get them to turn back on. I just hope there are no cameras tied into the sensors...

Trip, interrupted

I took the boys to DC to visit a good friend and her husband this weekend, since Greyson had spring break last week. Turns out, it's only a 6 hour trip including stops, which for us (and our trusty DVD players) is not bad. We left Thursday afternoon, and the plan was to go downtown Friday morning to see the monuments and cherry blossoms and avoid the heaviest crowds, then something away from downtown that afternoon. Saturday we were going to the Udvar-Hazy Center (part of the National Air and Space Museum, near Dulles Airport in Virginia) in the morning and then to see a children's theater production of Heidi in Bethesda in the afternoon. Then we'd come back home Sunday during the day. However, both weather and kids' illnesses changed our plans somewhat. Here's what we did instead:

Friday am: It rained, so we saw the Monsters and Aliens movie (cute, kids liked it, just OK for adults).

Friday pm: After lunch the weather had cleared up enough, so we headed downtown on the Metro and walked around near the tidal basin (saw the Washington Monument, Jefferson Memorial, Lincoln Memorial from a distance - even on a cloudy and very windy day the blossoms are beautiful) and walked around in the WWII memorial (Greyson is doing a power point presentation on D-Day, so we got some great pics for that). Reece was acting droopy and felt warm by then, and by the time we got back he just wanted to sleep. He woke twice in the night and ended up sleeping with me.

Sat. am: We all slept late Sat. morning and missed the chance to do both things in the time frame we had. Reece was still not feeling well, and I was tired from interrupted sleep. So we decided we'd leave in the afternoon to head home rather than try to drag Reece places while sick. The Tylenol had kicked in enough that we went to a playground to get some exercise and fresh air (it was sunny and 65, although very windy still).

Sat. pm: Had a yummy pizza lunch and then packed up to leave. Turns out it was the right choice, because every time the drugs wore off Reece, he was hot and lethargic again. We got home about 9pm, and Reece ended up sleeping with me but still woke twice and was inconsolable for a while both times. Dan let me sleep in this morning, and we had nothing planned for today anyway, so we were able to have a relaxing day. Reece even got to eat lunch on a tray in the living room.

Even with only one day between drives, I'm glad we went. We're hoping to get back soon to see more of the DC sights when it's not peak visitor time. And maybe next time we'll plan far enough in advance that Dan can come, too!