I've been composing and editing this post in my head all week but am still not sure I've got anything that says what I want to, what I'm feeling. Mostly, I think I'm not even the right person to write this, but since I'm the one with the blog, I guess I'll have to do.
As pretty much anyone who reads this blog knows, Dan's dad passed away last weekend. It wasn't completely unexpected, but it was still a surprise because he'd been doing so much better lately. We've had an intense week since that phone call came in late Saturday night (maybe Sunday morning?). Dan flew down to Florida on the first flight we could get him Sunday morning, my mom drove down on Monday to stay with the kids, I flew out Tuesday morning, and both of us came home Friday evening. Last night we were saying we couldn't believe it had only been a week - it feels partly like a month went by and partly like it never happened. For me, a part of the strangeness is that I was on spring break and ended up in Florida in sunny 80 degree weather, even going to the beach one day. It's hard to enjoy the amenities while grieving, and it's hard to grieve in that kind of climate.
But what I really wanted to do was thank my father-in-law for being the man he was. He was the rock of the family, always steady and reliable and considerate and there. He survived a difficult childhood, World War II, emigration to Canada and then the US, a plethora of odd jobs, and no one ever heard him complain. He looked so much younger than his age that he was able to say he was 10 years younger than he actually was. He never wanted a fuss made about him, but because he was such a good guy, everyone wanted to celebrate that. He and Dan's mom welcomed me into the family and from day one (21 years ago) made me feel like I was one of their children. He showed his children how to be a great parent and spouse, and I am particularly thankful that he showed Dan that there is no such thing as "women's work".
While I am jealous that Dan and his siblings got so much time with their dad, when I had so little with mine, I am also so glad that they did have that time and that I was able to share in a large chunk of it. It doesn't matter that he was 85 and had a bad heart - we all would have been happy to have had him around for so much longer. Have a good rest, Larry/Dad/Pop Pop. You deserve it.
What a good way to be remembered! We're sorry for your loss.
ReplyDeleteGreat blog, Lynette. My heart goes out to you all.
ReplyDeleteLovely post, Lynette! Sounds like a great man. Jill
ReplyDeleteDuring my sophomore year at Case, my father's engineering company consolidated and closed their Miami location, moving all operations to NJ.
ReplyDeleteHe was offered a position in NJ, but my parents decided to stay in FLA.
For the next 4 years he worked a number of jobs to bring in cash:
car salesman, insurance salesman, construction, and finally furniture sales, in which he went to peoples homes and purchased sets and sold them at a friends store front.
Never once did he complain, or bitch about how a mechanical engineer was "reduced" to working odd jobs to support his family. I know he worked some long hours, often with co-workers 20 years younger, but he never missed a day nor allowed his irregular schedule to cut into family time. I look back now and think I am not half the man he ever was. Hell, I get in a funk if I don't get time for my Cleveland sports obsessions, kids be damned.
But through it all, though he never talked about it, he did provide me with a perfect roll model, and I can see his imprint on the way I attempt to conduct my life, to become a great father and husband like he was.
Dan and Lynette, it was wonderful seeing you...so sorry it was under such aweful circumstance....Your Dad was a very special man...I was very lucky to have known him so well (27 years!!) and I have very fond memories of him..one that comes to mind was when he drove Becka and I to the 8th grade dance in the checker cab...we thought we were the bomb!! He was always willing to take us anywhere..he will be missed...
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