A guide for beyond the toddler years

Is there a "What to Expect, The Preteen Years"? Because I'd like to know if the signs I'm seeing in Greyson are age-appropriate, and what I should be ready for next, and how to deal with them all. The first big sign was that we had "the talk" with him recently. Well, actually Dan had the talk and I answered follow-up questions. And got books out of the library. And answered more questions. Now we're talking about what those 4-letter words that he knows but isn't supposed to say really refer to and why they're "bad" words, which has actually made things a little easier. Greyson is generally good about following the rules if he understands why they exist.
But that's not what started me thinking about this topic. It's the teen lingo that's starting to enter his vocabulary that made me realize we're not in pure child-land anymore. We were playing the Wii this weekend, and whenever Greyson got a strike in bowling he said, "Booyah!" I actually like that word, but I was surprised to hear him say it. The other thing he said to me, when I was explaining something to him, was "Whatevs." I think he expected me to react, and when I didn't, he repeated it and then moved on. But it's getting harder and harder for me to not react, so it would really be nice to have some kind of guide to prep me for these small milestones, and I really thing the What to Expect people should jump right on this.

On a completely unrelated note, the DQ Blizzard is celebrating 25 years in existence, and I realized that I remember clearly when they first came out because I was 15 and a good friend of mine worked at DQ and gave us extra-large portions. But what shocked me was the realization that I was already a teenager 25 years ago. Gah.

And on another completely unrelated note, here's a photo of the Turner males putting together the Little Tikes basketball hoop we got to replace the one that had been mounted on the old garage. Their color coordination is a complete coincidence, although it's not that unlikely since all males' clothing seems to be the same basic colors and styles no matter what their age.

The latest obsession

One member of our family has a borderline unhealthy infatuation with all things Star Wars. Care to guess which one? Here's a visual clue for you:All Reece's previous drawings of people have involved family members, so I assumed this picture depicted each of us holding a light saber. However, he quickly informed me that it represents the major fighters, both good and evil, from Star Wars. Quite a happy bunch, aren't they? Except for the one in the middle, who Reece says is a beheaded Darth Vader. And just in case you can't tell (or aren't up on the minutia of all things Star Wars), the three with heads on the left are Darth Maul (with the red double light saber), Mace Windu (purple) and Obi-Wan Kenobi (the young version). The green one is Luke, but I can't remember who the other evil one is - maybe Count Dukoo or that Palpatine guy who becomes the emperor. I'm really pretty clueless. Which I keep reiterating to Reece whenever he asks me some obscure question from one of the movies. I've only seen 4 of the 6, and I'm not known for my attention to detail in the first place. We have let him see A New Beginning (the first one we all saw in the 70's, now known as #4) and Return of the Jedi, but he's not seeing anymore until he's at least a few years older. And by then, maybe he'll be beyond the fanaticism anyway. Please??

I'm expecting the locusts any day now

It's been a little crazy around here since my last post. Specifically, for about a week it felt like we were working our way through a health (or disease) version of the biblical plagues. I don't know what we did to make Yahweh mad, and I really don't think we're keeping any peoples in exile, but the fact that this coincided with Passover was quite suggestive.

Very late that Thursday (or very early that Friday - I don't know, suffice it to say that it was sometime during the very deep sleep portion of the night), we were all awakened to the sound of Reece being sick. In Greyson's bed. And all along the way from there to the doorway where I met him, picked him up, and carried him to stand in front of the toilet. I'll spare you the gory details, but Dan and I spent the next hour cleaning up, including changing the sheets and covers on Greyson's bed.We knew Reece wouldn't be going to school Friday, and that's Dan's half-day anyway, so we planned that I would go in to work in the morning and get home in time for Dan to leave about 12:30. However, I woke up feeling sick and ended up spending the rest of the day in bed while a chipper Reece bopped from computer to Wii to watching TV. Dan picked up Greyson and handled the kids the rest of the evening, because we knew I had to be mobile for Saturday when we had Greyson's birthday party. (For those of you who know when Greyson was born and are now confused, we had the party a month early because there was a special Star Wars weekend at a local laser tag place, and half of the proceeds went to the Make-a-Wish foundation.)
I didn't eat much on Saturday but did feel well enough to handle the party, and we transported three of Greyson's friends and met two others and his cousins at laser tag at 1pm. Everyone, including Dan and Nat but not Reece and me (he wasn't old enough, so someone had to stay with him), played laser tag with the Star Wars characters for 20 minutes, they had a 20 minute break, then then played for 20 more minutes and came back to our party room for cake and playing video games in the adjacent arcade. We got everyone home around 3:30, settled down at our house, and about 2 hours later Greyson said he didn't feel well and proceeded to get sick. He definitely had it the worst and was still feeling bad when he went to bed.

So now we're at Sunday, Greyson stayed home from Sunday school but felt much better, and we did a ton of laundry. Monday, I woke up with a tickle in my throat and a few of those sneezes that you know indicate impending doom. Tuesday I knew I had a cold, and by Wednesday I was in the thick of it. Wednesday evening, Greyson had another type of intestinal illness hit him, and so I had to stay home from work on Thursday to be with him. I didn't really come out of the cold until Sunday and still have residual coughing fits. Since I had just returned home from a conference when the first plague hit us, I probably managed to get the equivalent of two whole days of work completed in two weeks.

We are all much better now (I'm knocking on something wooden), and the weather has been amazing, so I think we might have done something to redeem ourselves before the other 7 plagues were sent to us. For Greyson's sake, I am going to smear a little lamb's blood on the door just to be sure.

I won...something I can't use

I nearly forgot to pick up my Market Day order today, and I completely forgot that this month's order included being entered into a drawing for a Razor scooter. So I was already a bit scattered when I walked into Reece's school's gym to pick up my purchases and completely bowled over when they told me I'd won the scooter! I can't say that I never win things, because during my childhood it seemed that every time my mom entered our names into something, I won one of the prizes (for instance, one time it was a spider plant - not very practical for a child, but I thought of it kind of like a pet). But my adult years have been much less successful. Of course, the scooter doesn't actually fit me and so was quickly given to Reece, but it still feels nice. And it gave us a good excuse to get the kids outside after dinner, since the weather was conducive to such activity. Here are some pictures of what I would call the true first signs of spring:

Greyson on his scooter, showing us how it's done

Reece trying the new one out.


The inevitable introduction of the squirt gun and aiming it at the youngest child (and then being told "We don't aim guns at people", which is really pretty unrealistic but we still say it).

The backyard after the snow melted. So that's where those bats went!

And not that this has anything to do with spring, but here is Dan's beard after 3 1/2 days at home with the kids on his own. We're all shocked by the amount of silver/gray/white (whatever you call it).

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

What all the best Dr. Seuss fans are wearing

Reece made this at school:They've been reading Dr. Seuss books all week and even celebrated Wacky Wednesday that involved a snowball fight (only allowed on Wacky Wednesday, of course).

And, here's what the best Dr. Seuss/Star Wars fan is wearing:


Probably the best tribute to Dr. Seuss (besides the above, of course), in my opinion, is the Rev. Jesse Jackson reading Green Eggs and Ham on Saturday Night Live. If you haven't seen it, you definitely need to.

Adventures in parenting: The snow day edition

Playing on the mound created by the snowplow on a SNOW DAY

This past Friday, both my kids had a snow day. Although this is probably surprising to those who don't live here but hear about all the snow the Cleveland area receives, it's relatively rare for our school district to cancel school for snow. Our city is small, area-wise, and quite urban, so at least the main streets get cleared pretty quickly. Plus, we're not in the "snow belt" part of the area, so we get less snow than those east of us.

So of course the kids were thrilled (we had a potential crisis when we thought Reece still had to go, and the UNFAIRNESS of it all), and Dan and I scurried to figure out what we would do with the two all day. Neither of our jobs was canceled, of course.

I had scheduled a hair appointment for 9am (and REALLY wanted to make that), then a meeting a 1:15pm at work, and then my welcome-to-40 baseline mammogram at 4pm in Dan's office building. Luckily, Dan doesn't start work until 1pm on Fridays, so we had some leeway. I went to the salon while Dan got the kids fed and dressed and called all the high school age babysitters we knew to see if they wanted to hang out with the boys for the afternoon. Turns out, they had all already made plans with friends and must have had sufficient spending money, or all the other parents got to them first, because they all turned us down. So, we moved on to plan B. While waiting for my hair to dry, I emailed work to say I wouldn't make the meeting (and then got a reply that they were canceling the meeting anyway because so many people were going to miss it). Then I headed home in time for Dan to leave, and we planned on having the kids hang out in his office when I had my boob-squooshing appointment.

Grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup for lunch after playing outside

I packed up the boys and their respective Nintendo DSes, made sure they went to the bathroom, and dropped them off with Dan and a lovely fruit arrangement one of his students had given him. When I returned, only Greyson was in the office. Now, if only Reece had been there, I wouldn't have been concerned because Greyson has hung out there on his own before and knows his way around, and also, he's 9. No Reece was definitely cause for alarm. So I asked Greyson where his brother was, and he said in the bathroom with Dad. It turns out, Reece suddenly had to go #2 and Dan was with a patient. We hadn't prepped Greyson on what to do in this situation, so his advice to Reece was, "Hold it in, but if you can't, just go in the garbage can!" Luckily, it didn't come to that. I raced to the bathroom where I thought they would be and relieved Dan so he could get back to seeing his patients (and you wondered why doctors are behind schedule - now you know!). I was greeted by a surprisingly calm but ready to escape husband and a very happy, chatty boy washing his hands and COVERED in strawberry remnants. Apparently, the fruit arrangement put up a fight. My one regret is that in all the commotion, I forgot to take his picture before we washed it all off.

Photos from the mudroom

I've been waiting to get the mudroom "just perfect" before taking and posting the photos. Three months later, I've concluded that will never happen and if I don't take them now I never will. So here they are. These are all the cabinets we've ordered so far and probably will for the foreseeable future. The lighter wood cabinet was from my grandparents' house and although it doesn't match the rest, it is the perfect size for the location for now. The room has passed the snow/cold/wet test with flying colors, even with the addition of my nephews and their snow accouterments this past weekend, so we're good until somebody takes up a sport that requires lots more storage space or we acquire more kids or something.

View from the garage door (facing west).


Turning more north (clockwise).

Another clockwise turn, facing northeast.

And, facing south.

The halfway point

I have been 40 for just over a week, and I feel I can now look at this supposed monumental birthday with some objectivity. Really, I wasn't very worked up about it to begin with. At the turn of each decade (which for me coincides with the whole world starting a new decade - being born in a year ending in zero will do that) so far, I have felt like I wanted to be in the previous decade's age for just a little longer. Maybe decades could last 15 years?? I distinctly remember turning 10, have vaguer memories of turning 20 (21 is more momentous at that point), and was quite pregnant with Greyson when I turned 30. So for me, the 20s represented my "free" time as an adult, and the 30s were my young parenthood years (when I feel I aged 20 years just due to lack of sleep and exposure to whining). My doctor said she really enjoyed her 40s, when the stress of raising small children and building a career were done and things got more fun. I can already see that, especially since I will finally be done with all my schooling and training and be able to feel like a true adult in my field.

Since the life expectancy of an American Caucasian female is now 80.1, in statistical terms, I have lived half my life now. I know many people make some sort of bucket list of things they want to do by a certain time (often by 40, or they make them when they turn 40), but I don't have a desire do that so formally. I have, however, been thinking about the things I used to think I would have done by now and have reassessed whether or not I 1) still want to do them, or 2) realistically could do them. Here are the big ones, and the verdicts:

1) Learn to fly a plane.
I've always held this in the back of my mind, and I could have arranged to learn fairly easily at many times. However, I tend to get motion-sick on small planes, and what I really wanted to do was fly a jet (really, just do the take-off) without having to go through the training on a small plane. So I've quite happily given this up and instead try to enjoy every time I get to ride in a jet (and quietly pretend I'm actually flying it).

2) Learn to paraglide.
This one's pretty similar to the first, and I was reminded of it when we saw paragliders in Hawaii in October. I still would actually like to do this, but I'd be fine if I never get to. I just hope that if the opportunity arises, I will take the chance and do it.

3) Visit all 50 states.
I've already been in 35, so this is still high on the list of manageable achievements. The aforementioned Hawaii trip made it way more likely that I'll accomplish this, since now only Alaska has any serious barriers to my visiting it. One slight problem is that although most I haven't visited are in specific geographic regions (extreme southwest and northeast), there are a few in the middle of the country that I managed to skirt and don't see making a special trip just to visit (Nebraska, Oklahoma, and North Dakota, to be exact).

4) Bungee jump.
OK, I came up with this when bungee jumping first became popular, and before I had kids, and I can safely say I no longer have an interest in this.

5) Compete in the Olympics.
Also gave this up when I realized I didn't have either the talent or the dedication to be a contender in any of the sports, summer or winter. And now that I'm watching the winter ones, I realize that almost none of the competitors are even near the age of 40, and those who are are referred to as "seasoned" or "veterans". Good for Dana Torres - I'm out.

6) Become a concert pianist.
See #5.

7) Visit lots of countries.
Slightly less doable than the 50 states one, and a bit less specific, but still high on my list. Dan and I recently made an actual list of where we'd each, individually and together, like to visit outside the US. It turns out, we're both more interested in first world countries and amenities, so that should make it easier to accomplish as we get older. Highest on the list are Belgium, Germany, and areas where our families came from to do some genealogy research (Lithuania for me, Hungary/Slovakia for him). I'd also like to visit some South American countries, specifically to see Incan ruins and the Amazon, and we'd both like to go to Thailand and Korea just to eat the food.

Mostly, I'm right where I thought I would be at this age, so I'm just trying to be grateful. My boys made me cards and gave me hugs and kisses, and those truly were the best gifts. I never believed my mom when she would tell us that's all she wanted, but now I know. And I really only have one complaint. Is it too much to ask that the acne stop when the gray hairs appear??

Food, weight, and booties

We took Reece for his 5-year checkup recently and discovered that he hadn't gained any weight since his last visit in May of 2009. Now, when your child is in the 90th percentile, nobody really notices this kind of thing or gets concerned about it. However, when he is in the 6th percentile for height and weight, red flags start flapping in the wind. We're used to people being concerned with our boys' development, or at least with monitoring it, and we've chosen doctors for them who understand the genetic aspect and don't get too worked up. But when something like this happens, they (and we) still want to cover all the possibilities to make sure that nothing is going on.

So Reece has had an X-ray of his wrist to determine his bone age (fine) and been seen by a pediatric gastroenterologist (actually 2 - one was in training), and we met with a dietitian. First of all, they were reassured by the fact that Reece's weight to height ratio is still right on his growth curve and even think that the previous weight (when it did seem like he'd made a rather large jump) was inaccurate. And then they checked him out and talked with him and said he seems to be one of the healthiest kids they've seen. The following video seems to support this view:

But we're still doing some things to make sure that nothing strange is going on, so he has to have his blood drawn (I will no doubt be the lucky one to hold him down) and we're keeping a 3-day food diary for him that started yesterday. The day that we have Gymboree right after work/school and therefore sometimes get take-out to make life easier. Which is what we did yesterday, before I realized I was going to have to write down that he had half a cheeseburger (we forgot to ask for ketchup only so he didn't really like it), fries (Wendy's only other option is Mandarin oranges which the kids don't like - at McD's and BK we actually do usually get the apples or yogurt), and a kiddie Frosty (we had a free coupon). And 1% milk, when he's supposed to be having 2% at least. I will not be awarded the Mom-of-the-Year award this week, I'm afraid.

In the midst of all this, Greyson has managed to really fill out and is now on the upper end of the growth curve for weight, so we've been focusing on working with him to make healthy choices and have cut back for all of us on our fat and caloric intake. Which may have inadvertently kept Reece from calories he needs. Until we get the results of his food intake back we won't know for sure, and if it turns out he's not eating enough we're just going to add Carnation Instant Breakfast mix to his milks and that will add all kinds of goodness (and some processed food not-so-goodness) to his diet. In the meantime, I'm finding myself offering Reece food any chance I get and telling Greyson no almost every time he asks for anything beyond the main meals. And buying full-fat and fat-free versions of everything that has those choices. Gah!

I really believe that the result of all the testing will be that he's fine and we just need to monitor more carefully what he actually eats (and maybe give him more snack opportunities between meals). And in the meantime I get some chances to spend time with just him (even if it is holding him down for needles).